Amazing how the Kenyan shilling has lost value, back in the days not so long ago we would go out with a 500 Kenyan shilling note and would have a kanyama and at least five beers to take you to another level, but now 500 is just some pocket change. To be called a 'man of means' you got to be walking with afew thousands as your own pocket change!! Some not so old geezer once told me corruption is what cost Kenyans a cheap lifestyle, after the angloleasing scandal that's when even the usual bread price rose from 15/= to around 20/= and the tread has been going on, call it 'us paying for crimes of others (read the mighty)'.
Over the weekend i got a call from the 'chama' treasurer, who wanted to dissolve the chama because rumour has it that he is 'eating' our money. This on a Friday, what a perfect day to dissolve it since mbele nyuma i had 100/= which i had previously conned the chumed pm for i don't know what, maybe credit and there was a reunion drinking excuse for the former Kaggzerians '03 pupils in a lounge in town. An information that i had got earlier from the all to familiar' keep in touch media" (read facebook) that facilitates even those that you wouldn't want to keep in touch with..
This one i was so willing to attend not until i realized there was minimal commitment and plus why go to town while in the metropolis on this season is quite looking up, especially now that good looking buffaloes are around i guess from hi skul, and infact one had just planted a date very conveniently!!, but not one of the under 18s ofcourse! I arrive at the 'Kamukunji' very fast to find the other 'active' member Mr lion's already arrived to get his share, this Mr Lion is another that will tell you on your face 'you have stolen our money!' So i meet the treasurer sweating and pretentiously mad that he has been called a thief and no matter the pleas i made that atleast we should save save and dissolve in dethemba when the money will be a bit more for the festivities.
The treasurer refused to be a handler of anymore of our money for false accusations and so being a signatory to the account we head to the bank for the wipe out. process fast without any bureaucracy until i wonder, true banks have really changed and soon our money is in our hands ready for division. First the balance according to the treasurer's books were not tallying with the account's!??. With problems Mr lion and i being the most active and founders of the group manage to get our share and leave the treasurer scratching his nyees wondering where the money to pay the rest passive members with, will come from.
Straight we leave for nyama choma to thank ourselves for the record breaking savings that we have done for six or so months leave for the premature dissolution for we had all planned the financial year would come to an end on Christmas. I call Tobiko another buffalo that has always been asking for nyama but she is in bathroom or something and live in the wilderness so by the time she arrives Mr lion and i have wiped the kg of burnt, so i part with bhajia not to make the arrival useless. Before i am mixed further and start throwing the overpriced bottles at the buffalo, for now Mr Lion has to leave to close his job first, i remember my shoe is now beating too much and a renewal is needed very fast , i excuse myself and rush to the nearest stall for a brand new renewal, true Christmas came early on that day.
On the stall as i bargain adamantly another buffalo fixes a date very conveniently as if it had known i was now a man of means ( read walking with afew thousands in my pocket). by the time i bought the shoe i already started feeling a big hole created for even the bargain wasn't as effective for Tobiko was around still trying to monitor how much i had and asking vehemently for the nyama i called her for. Shortly am on my way to meet the date leaving my old shoe and tobiko nagging there. I had missed this one and so it was all worth it.
After taking all my good time i still find it waiting for me and i dearly appreciate the wait. Onto our favourite local i ask for those double doubles of black ice (the remover of pant) and my usual PILSNER. This time i break another thousand and what was put on my palm as change shocks me ,almost afew coins. I felt my ration will diminish there there and there was no point of going to the city aty for the reunion, more so Saiga my tycoon also a former kaggzerian had already indicated wont make. So its either impress the buffalo there or run and keep my diminishing ration to last me all weekend. Luckily or unluckily this one i don't know for being a 'hino' and even the second was left half empty! *sobs*.
Events happen and it has to go home and i have to pay its cab money for it lives in the wilderness too, impulse budgets continue and i pay my 3/4 share to be dropped in another joint 'Juanco' that i loved very much and she proceed and cough the rest., this ofcourse after lighting alot of fire that it could not extinguish,( i felt like looking for a trapper with no baggage). I enter Juanco and realize these days it has beaten too much and leave for the adjacent 'mabatini' where beer is at least 10/= or 20/= cheaper. there i meet a 'godfather' of ours (this man while in campus once housed us, me and the pm), after a long binge drinking and we continued friendship from there maybe because he lived and worked in a barracks that had easy access to cheaper quality beer!.
Pleasantries exchanged and he tells me am in his now 'growing up' backyard and he's on leave after coming to bury his father. This man is quite a character too he will take peeps half his age to his digz and tell his equally furious mama to put food for the impromptu visitors (these are our children he says!!) i wondered on the first day how good he could be and we sure went to his place with alot of fears, maybe our privates will get chopped off or he wants to have my pm and there's nothing we could do. I threw afew at his local and he tells me "baba' lets go home you say hi to 'Mama Kevo'. He has a son Kevo almost our age that had been told earlier to escort us to stage after the impromptu sleep over and we bonded .
So i say why not if the first day my nyees were not cut why now? He tells me that his hood is just behind the locals but i realize its miles away in the 'wilderness' after we set off, this i guess i agreed after realizing my pocket now was badly depleted. We negotiate sharp corners and hills until i pant my fat out all along him ( calls himself Simba ya Kajiado, after afew pilsners) holding a stick to scare away the lions just incase they appeared, true mlevi ni wa Mungu!. Finally we reach his hood and am given a room to lay my heavy drunk head on after exchanging some pretentious pleasantries with his pm. This room despite my drunkenness is as cold as it can get in the wilderness, i sleep in full combat which i rarely do for the cold is too much and the single blanket cannot quite help. I snore it away soon comfortably for am assured am safe and my nyees will be intact tomorrow of that day.
Tomorrow we waited for Kevo to arrive for his weekend off until i gave up and left ofcourse with a kaburungo from the shamba to take to the PM who as i realized was very familiar with this couple they even felt they midwifed the relationship and thats why its still surviving that's why i call him 'godfather'. He tells me with the kaburungo of afew sukumas and maize cobs will make the 'msomo' i get from the pm who'd already started to call to know my whereabouts will be minimal. I had told her am with him earlier and the tone on phone had improved, with the surety that i wasn't with another buffalo(thats their only or do we say greatest fear?) for i gave him my phone to tell her that too.
I also wonder what is this urgency that the pm will always call you with to be home whereas there's nothing of importance or its for the missment of the 'magic stick'?/ or unknown fears(read another buffalo). What if you came back without 'the center bolt'? he he! you would be as good as dead!! So i go home later to her welcome more for the luggage i had promised than me, but i see it fit to let her have some share of my savings and i tell her "mama i got afew here and i want to take you dancing!". This after breaking the vow of never going to bar together for we are now parents and should stay with the baby, but now that the aunties are around to stay with her why not and also cover up my mistakes.... After that weekend i must be very loved for the outing i took her two days mfururizo, >>>>> i just got a bamba 20 sambaza now now! ha ha
early christmas for sure hehehe...
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