Of short lived vows!

Never again shall I fall or become a victim of E-dating, for real this stuff is sick and never again shall i try it. This particular weekend i doned my best pair of jeans, shoes and a t-shirt I purchased for this particular date from the exhibition not Gikomba. I was particularly arrogant since Wanjiku (PM) had travelled upcountry and today I was in no particular mood for my 'chips funga', and since i was paid my mood was good.

My 'chips funga' saw me before i had a chance to sneak from the estate. She had to know what i was up to 'Kwani leo una date?' she asked me while demanding that I buy a flying horse. While other idlers of mtaa were like, backing her, "Aaaa weee Bin Mbayi si huyu mtu ana date si kawaida yake kuwa hivi ama?". I dismissed the allegations saying i was going to babysit for my sister who had to travel upcountry and hastilly made my exit before I became the day's talk.

In town at the stage I met my neighbour who managed to drag me to Grogon next to Nairobi river, this joint that serves the best Muratina. I was to part ways with him at two inorder to be in time but actually did part ways at five, I had started digging my grave. I dashed to the stage only to get hyper inflated fare as it was an end month weekend and people were traveling alot, since I didn't want to dissappoint my 'Mrembo' I agreed to part with this amount which was abit obscene regarding the distance.

I got to my destination at around eight and I knew I was in for it, as we were supposed to meet at around five in the evening. Again things took a sudden turn as this time around I met a former high school mate who was not going to leave me unless i decided to have one with him on his bill, before long it was nine headed to ten.

Knock knock. "Ooooh hii ndio saa unakuja ulikuja kuona hao mabeste wako ama mimi??eee fanya hivi, rudi kwa wao, look at you, stupid man!!". As the door was banged behind her. I staggered to town holding a private conversation with myself and cursing. I quickly found a watering hole and went ahead and drowned my sorrow and not long before the barmaid thought  I was a good company and came to my rescue, though I had to part with a beer.

After a while she decided to offer me help by booking for me a room using my money after a half baked emotional story of how I came to be in this situation. I cant remember how the rest of the evening went on but I woke up around 12 with  a terrible headache alone in the lodging minus my wallet and phone. I headed to 'Mrembo's place who looked at me like I had porridge instead of a brain luckilly enough she made me breakfast cum lunch but i was not going to get coitus despite how hard i tried to plead my case.

I swallowed my pride and decided this weekend was officially over. Luckily for me in the small jeans pocket i had stuffed a 200sh note which luckily didn't vanish. We parted with 'Mrembo' after a conversationless escort and did mathematics to please her or for 'the lunch' or a later 'rematch' and bought her credit, since now I had no exact fare and Mrembo didn't or couldn't want to hear my case the conductor made me stand on a slow overcrowded bus to Nairobi.

You may think my troubles were over but not yet for I have to brave this weather till morning as in my confused state I boarded a bus which took me the opposite side from my residence and that 'kashaitani' of conductor couldn't warn me! or else i didn't ask. As am writting this with the help of the street lamp warming myself next  to the good hearted watchman while sipping my liquor i cant help but wonder what tomorrow holds as Wanjiku(PM) has to sleep all alone something she constantly reminds me it was not the reason why she got married!!.