Gender boorish

Am a keen observer of our physical world and what goes on around. One thing that has baffled me is trying to understand the feminines' gender school of thought and behaviour. Am not gay and honestly I do appreciate women and their goodies. Women need to appreciate themselves  for we men to appreciate them in return. What follows is an incident that happened to me as i was waiting for a matatu to head to town.

There is this drop dead gorgeous fly mama from our mtaa, when she passes she leaves behind heads turned (all heads) and a sweet sweet aroma am sure by now you know the kind of woman am talking about.

This good blessed morning I was lucky enough to have been graced by her presence which had an intoxicating effect on me thank God  my Wanjiku (read PM) was not around to tame my straying eyes (if yours does not do this know she also got her own ventures)!.

Am sure all the men present at that time noticed her but that was not enough, she also had to intimidate the other ladies. Since I was the one standing next to her I had a generous view of her cleavage straight to her back (one nasty back) right to her edible legs. She realized I was staring and I also saw her smile and look from vagina of eye and for a moment I convinced myself that am single.

"Hi you look so familiar". She said. The smile she gave me made me mellow and weak in the knees and it wasn't long before i had pictured her naked with me on top of her (wooi! what a literal 'dress down').

''Town forty bob town forty bob". We got into the literally empty matatu and it seemed lady luck was in my hot pursuit since she came and took the seat next to mine. I was immediately served with a generous view of her full cleavage and her inside yellow yellow thigh of elephant, which I comfortably enjoyed this time in private.

Had my Wanjiku been there hell would have no fury and also that would have meant me being under probation minus half of my salary (fuck this new constitution)!. The conductor finally got to us and unblinkingly "Nyaguthii" turned and faced me directly in the face as one hand went into her bag and fished what I imagined to be a black berry. "Si unilipie fare chali kama wewe si mtu wa kukosa forty bob" (more of a demand than request)! (Really , some of you ladies , who are your mothers??) i remember when growing up this was a greater crime than eating at your neighbour's, you'd really get a spanking from the old lady aty you were borrowing i dono sweets, "kwenu eee mamayako uliskia hana pesa ya swity au ungekosa ufe eeeeeee!!!your ass would be very sore by spanks or thighs peeling off by the pinches before she was through with the 'sermon'.

She said this loud enough for the conductor to over hear and he quickly decided to side with her and gave me my change from the note I had given to him. Cut a long story short after paying the fare this lady started giving me looks to suggest i was visually raping her and that the show was over! What angered me most was that just as she was about to alight she turned and asked me. "Who is Steve Jobs". Was this chick for real, sheer daftness or measuring devil?? this made me appreciate my Wanjiku (PM) the more and tonight am going to make endless love with her. Typical Eastlanda ghetto hustler style up (i guess this an art she's perfected every morning), which reminds me no lunch for Mr Sido *sobs* *sobs*hunger pangs!!nkt