Monday 27 June 2011

The business i'll never do

I have really tried many, being a 'jobless' graduate, jobless in quotes meaning lack of a whitecolor job as expected by the old folks being peroz and generally the older members of society whom you cannot convince you have a source of livelihood if you dont either work in a bank or in a government office swinging chairs all day pretending to be busy and the all too familiar rudeness to Kenyans asking for services in such offices. The other day i was in a CID headquarter office that looks like a museum for i guess all the renovation money set aside ends up in few peoples' homes, and the public servants there were quite rough in taking my finger prints while applying for a certificate of good conduct. After reading the papers the other day on advertisements made on public service jobs ( which i have a feeling is done as  a formality but the jobs have owners not unless you are very lucky) and their salaries, i somehow excuse them for their frustration if that's the kind of salary they get. Now that said, you know after the folks have educated you they wash their hands for their work is done and for many of them a university degree is as good as mission accomplished. The monthly allowances slowly dwindles and the conning games can hardly go unnoticed and thats when you find yourself cannot even afford keg drinks. Thats the desperate situation that calls for desperate measures to atleast afford some drinks in the all too common boredom moments.

I have actually sold cds, graphics, mitumba clothes, gnld products, oriflame, bank accounts, small loans, scrap metal and many more. Of all the many i have done so far i pinch myself never to get involved in these foreign companies which have set base in Kenya and 'use' a few people to enrich themselves but all they do is con majority off their hard earned cash, one of those companies being gnld that sell 'health' tablets quotes being there's nothing healthy in them that beats the traditional, original arrowroots and sweetpotatoes that we despised when abit younger. These companies come to colonise kenyans minds in the promise of wealth which is a common mindset in almost all Kenyans me inclusive, but the fact that we dont know is  that that the gdp actually goes to the foreign countries where such products come from, and  so i vow never to buy anything of the sort thats not Kenyan.

The commodities are quite overpriced and a rip off leave alone for the registration fees that are required to be a member, totally incredible. So majority of the kenyans have become enlightened and you can hardly get a customer for the commodities. after campus i was invited for a session of those gnld meetings by Jose a  high school friend to which the speakers really woo you with instant wealth, i almost called my folks to lie i had been caught by kanju so they give me the 4k i register and then wait for its instant multiplication. My instincts tell me to wait for another session of lies proclaimed by the speakers and they invite us 'newcomers' to attend a city hall award of 'graduants' ( a pyramid way of rewarding the heavy 'investors' in the company). The way these masters of impunity express to you how within a short period you will be driving a good car is just incredible, where on earth do you find things served to you on a silver platter? what they dont tell you is that to earn a single thousand you must have enriched the same company with tens of thousands of those, so if at all you dont get other customers to con and use your money to purchase inorder to gain points.. I prefer that money i would store it in a pillow and feel it every time am sleeping failure to i'll only question the pm who shares the pillow with me and the only culprit. In gnld or banks you have no redress or particular person to get hold of.
So i pulled along the pm on saturday to city hall to hear how in a very short while we shall be millionaires and abuse the shopkeeper at our gate whom she bargain even a matchbox from. I cannot ever remember sitting for a record breaking ten hours nonstop on the not so comfy city hall chairs that are used to beat the hell out of councillors without aven going to spit them(loo). I would ignore the pm whenever she tells me she's hungry and we ended up sitting there all day listening to gimmicks. After that i borrow somebody in the name i've been caught by kanju to pay but fortunately it was not enough so i ended up postponing to pay the registration another day. As days go by i become even more enthusiastic and woo many more to the promised wealth including pm who also lacked the reg. fee.

One day i go to campus for clearance in campus and i talk many many on the queue to registrar of how i've discovered a money mint and need not apply for a job (atleast thats what some of the speaker advised). After the guy i was telling stories gets in, i ask the chick behind me who had been listening in whether she is not yet enlightened, she tells me she's a member and her sister too is a 'director'( a pyramid kind of scheem title they give themselves). Later she hooks me up with the sister who promise to pay my registration fee as long as i dont 'disappoint'. She also give me a packet of tablets to sell. It was after this that i discovered how hard it was to sell the commodities and we ended up eating the whole packet with the pm and i forgot it was a business. I discovered  that maybe the weight loss thing is true because after taking the tre-en-en 6 pack i weighed ten less but you really have to invest in the same, no single packet can give you results and this doubles up on the money you are to use and earn points that cannot make you 'rich'.

On the other hand i discovered many sell by approaching the old or desperately sick or those with convalescents at home and sell to them in the name of a miraculous cure to which its a lie for they are only mediocre supplements which is also not very ethical, as i put my business ethics lessons to practice i vow not to con or proclaim lies to desperate customers, to date i still tell the lady owner of tablets i am still in Haiti(you know where there's a stripper president?).

 Days later a cousin comes to our place to introduce the oriflame concept, i gerit this the same thing and i tell the pm to try it too so that when she fails we shall be even and the ridicule for failure in gnld minimize. The difference is registration is much cheaper and the pm produces the cash almost immediately, the problem came to selling the overpriced perfume to whom you hardly get a person to sell to in our middle income hood. You end up applying the perfumes and others on yourself leave alone for the disappointments you get from even your closest kin who dont even pick-up your calls for the conversation is always the old rhetoric So i survive the ridicule for both business have stalled.

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