Thursday 22 September 2011

The rich too get off balance

"What is it for a man to gain the whole world but loose his soul"?  Good words from great philosophers that go "deep'. In this world that we are all dragged to live in and suffer and later die, and to proclaim that even the comfortable looking do suffer in silence, a poor man will sleep till day break in peace but the rich man hardly get sleep . Social family matters/disturbances are in the norm. One could act arrogantly for the money power and influence over others but deep within they manifesting some stress.

 The other day i was passing by a dingy hotel kinda looking that the only vehicles you'd find parked there are old 'toyotas' but in the vicinity was a nice modern car guess a 'VX' as Ken told me but my question is why would the owner go to such a place of lowlife , is it for the dominance factor that's where he commands respect most for he's the 'tycoon' or something and not go to where his class will be challenged by other massively wealthy people. I guess thats just the culture of we Africans. Just like another philosopher that heads a lowly performing team in England said "give an African a few pennies and he'll flout them all over for everybody to see". Thats even worse when they just don't do it where it deserves!!.

Yesterday as i was watching  the  Hague proceeding presentation on the news because i cant actually stand to watch live the mediocrity presented  majorly by defense counsels and generally the whole thing seems a sham as they try to rip off all evidence provided by the prosecutor as our beloved country men are humbled to levels they haven't imagined they could go to after all the respect they command here, sure that got them off balance.

I was thinking of how life can be unfair to the 'good people ' of society who suffer but at no one point have they lost their souls , they are the people lovers, kind hearted and all the virtue adjectives you could use but these are the people who will suffer most in our society and even before things look up for them, they die. I don't know to say the favorite quote "God is jealous" and he will take these glorified people amongst all the liking, before mankind start worshiping them and forget him.

I say its not fair  so far I've lost two great aunties  whom by the word of it (mostly from the old lady)  they were the nice people she knew one was her age-mate step sister whom their  life seemed to run concurrently (i bet it so happens when you are close to some one) they were of similar age set,  went to school at the same time, married same year to equally senior bachelors , bore sons (me and Nash) same year. This same Nash after many years of separation maybe due to the location factors and marriage we came to meet in the streets of campus. Obvious it was after regular  phone dialects ," ooh my son's there too they can meet, bla bla...." alot that i cant remember brought to our meeting which i treasure to date for the final 'add up of a face' which i had grown up hearing of but now as an adult i could experience her  and family goodness.

 Unfortunate as life may have it my auntie was already a convalescent and her former glory was no more (i could see by the photos) but nevertheless she was still the person i heard of from my old lady and more reloaded, always jovial, welcoming and nice. As fate would have, she  passed on after a long struggle of cancer. The other auntie is a wife to a brother of my old man who for many years she was barren, the huzzy at some point got retrenched from a high flying job, generally another good soul that did not  need suffer in this world and after all that after having had a young daughter finally a bout of malaria gave her the permanent transfer. amazing how life can be so cruel to the good hearted.

Another soul is of a philanthropist auntie, mother to Ken whom by word from the son i get to know she was an open hearted person despite high flying careers with all the providence that she could for a great life for her sons and to the extent of donating land to churches, but an accident claimed her life too sudden when Ken and the twin bro were too young. you can imagine how those left are left wondering why our auntie, why our mother .... of all?? and quite destabilized i may say..! but the will of the almighty has to be done in fact i guess they are lifted to glories lest they succumb to the evils and temptations  of this world. Death can be as sad more so for those experiencing it first hand and more so when its so sudden. but as always life has to go on for those left behind in fact the mantle is on them.

Saturday 17 September 2011

Sexual disorientation!!

Ever been so disoriented from zegz you wonder what is wrong? has someone made your nyees disappear or something?, Even the PM will wonder with you but the usual suspect reason she'll think of is that "Tobiko" is occupying your mind. They'll always suspect infidelity. Why is it that most of our women folk treasure or adore sex (read with their men) whom they have wholly devoted to give the cookie to for its secure and understood by society. Statistics have it that more men are coerced to zegz by their loved ones!.

By the way who is this 'society'? its you and i. I guess the reason they will cry and pester for the zegz even daily or hourly, is for the fact that they believe we men live by sex or something , that that is the only way to show commitment to them, though i suspect others are clever they'll do so to drain your balls and no matter how much that "Tobiko" will want your josto you cannot raise for exhaustion. Anyway this can be contested from various quarters of different experiences, for there are those that are entrepreneural, addicts and cannot go without a josto in their cookies.

Ever wondered if zegz was to last that long maybe like how dogs 'stick to each other' only this time for longer periods like all day, people would never go to work, school or anywhere nor look for food, if at all it would be the only thing in this world. I find myself asking the pm this after a certain duration of disorientation crops in , "kwani sex is the only thing?", while she's there crying, "i want to come,! just the way you make me feel!". I wonder, in her mind she never factors in that something does happen to people , 'God forbid !' paralysis, depressions, or other diseases or calamities of life. in such situations would she still stick by you ? i wonder ,and ask her too.

When a woman knows that she is your weakness and she's gotten into your head, that woman can trample you the way she wants and feels like, thats when a woman will have the guts even to introduce you to her even hotter friends for she knows you are in her box under tight key and lock!. she'll ask for anything, go wherever with whomever she'll feel like and still come back to you amidst open arms, though this is an individual thing, but look around you'll find you either a victim or immediate neighbour is,.. and wonder!!

This gospel according to philosopher Mulama, but also reminds me of similar statement told to me by a person of out in campus days over my boy aty, "Unacheki Dan hawezi enda mahali, anaweza toka tu kwa me kumwambia!" how deplorable situation can a man live by under such conditions??. Thats why the pm will always feel insecure because she's never gotten me emotionally and always feels there's a part of me she's never known and will never be ready to admit or give in, not now that she's still young and in the ages of insecurities, i even dread the day she'll discover this 'many dots will become lines'>>get the drift?!!.

Moreso now that she can be termed as the 'breadwinner' you got to be the 'man' always and play your cards wisely  hata kama ni chini ya meza,. The other day as we pinted with philosopher /hr Mulama who recently met my pm and daug after all those years we've been buddies and i was like "na venye niliwanga nimeficha white?", he was like, "hata me hukufichia!" and we concluded yenyewe in this life you are by your own, whether you feel that you got a spouse whom your life depends on or peroz, they can die who are you left with?? the world !! by yourself and thus, "saa zingine inabidi white ifichwe!"

At times the pm will always share sentiments, "i dont get you at times,?". and my reply, "you are always want things to go your way, do you at times try to get me and my likes and dislikes, so try to reach out to me too and that way you 'll get to know me and my needs not that all the time am the one succumbing to your needs!"

Anyway on other random thoughts, in any case its good to maintain the consistence and persistence inorder to succeed. Do not get into something with the negative connotation ( read pessimism) but optimism that you'll succeed , if former, then there;s no reason to 'try'!!

After what happened(fire tragedy) i pray the almghty, giver and snatcher of life not to snatch mine or my kin in such a cruel manner, what could man have done to deserve this natural calamity i may say (read painful burning alive)??/ its very sad!!

The other day i had an experience of sort of guyz who use smear campaign to get women. After having introduced a buffalo to some 'buddy' the guy in his mind was thinking he'll slice me but in vain, for to begin with, maybe the buffalo had an 'attachment' but me was 'not there' so on realising this the guy embarked on "smear campaign" just like politicians do to gain a mileage (call it kukatia na jina ya wenyewe). This is so backward i say like telling a woman, "you see that guy he screws barmaids, leave him!". they donno that in today's  women like to hear atleast you got experience (who doesn't?)mschew!!.

Screwers of relationships i call them, they donno some of us are bigger screwers, for gaining and loosing friends is all just a part of this life we live in and there's nothing much within our means that we can do, its like death when it comes calling. So whenever i loose one (mostly these are fellow men, particularly of the smear campaign kind and others who'll see me as a threat to their women) am used to that!. I had to put all these random thoughts as they flowed for memory sake and abit deviate from main theme  i hope yah'all can decipher.

Monday 12 September 2011

I choose to belief what i want!

This a post of many a views and hearsays. Maybe i have never taken a keen interest but i've heard this from three people now, is it that chilli gets in as bitter and irritating as it comes out on the other end?? i ask for clarification from knowlegdeable quarters...Am a fan of chilli but i've never felt it as so, but maybe its one of those things am going to refer to in this post regarding "beliefs"

I notice that the media too has played a big role in society interms of what people belief or is their opinion . Mostly in this age that people are really talking issues openly be it reality, political, religious, emotional and spiritual. People including wakathangos are internalizing on issues that we were earlier made belief but now critics are on the rise pissing off the conservatives. These are the positives of media that its bringing things to the limelight leave for other things with a negative connotation like western kinda cultures that are impacting on our young ones, women folks or even the old. Now folks are coming to accept the music videos aired of nudity, vulgar that they are not about to go away.

I remember my old lady always saying,, "that music is of devil, switch it off in my house!" and that was obeyed immediately but today i hear folks are given punch lines like, "Jesus hasn't released an album as yet, so that you say Jesus' music". Anyway some of those programs i say that raise adrenaline rush or anxiety to a level and then all of a sudden comes crashing for the belief 'its only acting' its not entertainment according to me. This i refer most to the soaps and dramas mostly with a western touch. Others are realities like cheaters that leave you wondering "what if that thing happened to me, i would....." fill in your gaps.

I have managed to ban some of those in my house slowly slowly for why watch whereas i get the drama and realities live live (read from pm) i donno whether borrowed atimes.. Bottomline this media is influencing our society folk in mannerisms, the traditional african culture were replaced by babylonian kind (western)cultures that have overshadowed it so much. Another belief that maybe you would call a stereotypical kind, is of yellow yellows, who to me appear as the african blondes. these are mosly the people i say you'll find in Koinange street and other affluential lifestyles (woiii okuyu).

The yellow yellow(sorry) anyway interms of colour am also one of them, my sisters and bro too but i see they may portray some daftness in them interms of peer, vice and succumb more. This i attribute more to the side effects of western influence which they relate with more because of their skin colour more than our dark counterparts who are more in touch with the african look.

On another issue of belief i say this habit of always putting tribe first should end, this was just a way of "divide and rule" political neocolonialism impacted on us to belief by the political intelligent scheeming elite so as to clinch and stay in power. Why do i put the political touch', the other day a pal tells me that a friend of his' crib got wiped out by a 'girlfiend' and she left to the U.A.E. How can a woman be so cruel especially from the lake?? i ask myself.. maybe its the connotation of when you love one too much the more likely for him or her to do you 'kihibirania(matharao)' and its double more so from a person of out!!

Another story i heard of another persons of the western (read kakamega) community, when the wife died of similar community the sisters to the wife came and chased the husband from their matrimonial home in which they had both serviced loans to build and sire their kids in, in the claim that that was their sister's property and their father supported them too, leaving the man to vacate and start renting a house with the kids who had no choice but to follow their dad whom they knew as the only present guardian,(still in  our courts i hear) I dont want to say more for its hearsay story that you cannot quite side with either party and dont know exact details,this i say "for every one rat you see there're fifty others you did not". Bottomline or moral lesson of the story is, these people are not okuyus by any chance but can do that, so next time you are told of such situations of "kihibirania"(matharao) and ask ,"was it okuyu person?/" know that a person is by him/herself and and depends on being.. great philosopher said , "you got the power of being (recognition is being not doing) it all depends on an individual!!.

I dont know whether i related that relatively to my story but its just some 'food for thought' for those that can decipher.. its called the art of expressing how one feels  and not beliefs that are in most cases in concurrence society's for the sense of belonging. Another lecturer friend of mine as he takes afew at our local becomes a philosopher of his kind who i say contradicts what he lectures (read theology units). He goes like, "those people who preach to us about salvation in the name of going to heaven as if its there, who in the first place told them that everyone wants to go to heaven?/" he he!! talk of a misleader of flocks!!, Continues, "infact the few that go there if at all, are very bored people, aty you wake up and see angel Gabriel there, no alcohol, its boring!!"he he, #amazing..

 In a way i concur because all these things i attribute to colonialism of the mind leave this neo-colonialism we are still in but what the western community brought to us. The missionaries as we read in history came with a gun on one hand and a bible on the other , so they were like take this or the next offer (bullet on head). in that way they were able to impact their westernizaton on us and we started beliefs not that there were no beliefs before, what of facing mount Kenya?? in my view these people were also big intelligent, manipulative, entrepreneural minds.

Even the writers of the same bible, who knows, maybe they coined the characters present like Noah, Abraham, Jesus just like i use characters like guru, philosopher, Ken, Tobiko and others. But whomever the entrepreneurs (call them the authors of the best selling book) they had an insight to foresee the future in their writing. At times i hesitate to hold some of these discussions in situations or among conservatives of sociey lest am branded an 'anti-christ' but am just an open mind who look at things from various perspectives and fail to know why i had to belief something out of impact than your own adult way of reason. Am sure even my old lady if she heard me discuss such she would 'ask me back' in prayers as she has always done, for i say i live by my mother's prayers. but anyway i choose to belief what i want!!.

Monday 5 September 2011

Grateful privilege

My old man always taught me that no matter what situation one is in there's always another in a worse off situation, this one i dont know if it was to cover up for the 'two months application' thing or it was just meant to console in a way but true. Though it's ever said "do not compare yourself with the failures" but reality takes the better of it, (Reality kills dreamers!)he he. I know many including i at some point in life would ask themselves,"why was i not born in a 'Kenyatta'(for example) family??"

I did not make an application to be in this world but as i quote a fact "God drags us all into this world to suffer and then die", its not fair!! but maybe if born in an affluent homestead you would have it easy, a notion that has not been quite proved even by Wakathango. We all tend to think that money can be an end in itself but you'll find the affluent have their own share of earthly suffering too( including hague).
Another just said "money is an empowerment, makes you call the shots!" another said "whomever said money cannot buy you happiness, did not know where to buy it!!"

I thought Interior kajiado was dusty, rough and tough life until i went to Ukambani over the weeekend to see layers of dust, dillapidated roads that are rocky and hilly, and actually in the backyard of an affluent minister who claims to be a reformer and possesses an influential docket of reforms. What other major reforms that could be other that infrustructure in his own backyard?? i ask myself. Atleast am grateful that in my neighbourhood there're signs of rainfall once in a while and an indicator of wealth.

The other day as i walked on the road amidst some drizzles , there was a man infront crawling on the wet ground, i just had to look above and speak to the almighty,"Whomever you are, lord that makes us all equal before your eyes,whether you live above or hang over every being(i believe mine does for the far i have come), you who gives others legs, snatches other's and denies others am grateful for the privilege. Ever wondered as an able bodied what it is to lack majorly sight, sense of hearing and legs?, for a man i mean both of them three?? you are as good as a dead man walking!.

 Many are the times you will see your pm calling for you to avail yourself immediately for what i guess the companionship (read zegz) and fake an 'eadache', no sugar (the current luxury) and she cannot take the tea on the table without and should bring it immediately?? but only to realise her magic stick is what she was calling out for lest you get tempted to give another of her rivals, it better be within reach. You can dare ask her like i do at times, what if you got paralysed would you still be as essential as you are now?,leave for the financial security you could possess!!.

As i reiterated earlier on on 'appointed time' post, am ever grateful for my present parents , they could not possess the financial muscle of the affluent families we would all wish to be born in but atleast they are not divorced, dead or struggling through legal battles (majorly of property) and exposing their dirty linen in public. I also find myself pitying the kids who are also dragged into those dramas they have no clue of.

 Life is a paradox in itself as wakathango i could be worrying why did i domesticate someone so early in life and procreated ?, whereas there's another asking himself why he did not domesticate earlier and another who is trying hard to procreate in vain? But one thing i have come to learn is never to regret any action as a man (kama mbaya mbaya) whichever mind that made you do the regretable is the same one that has carried you through all situations of wise decision and its all yours.

The other day i was with the 'guru' the one guy i know divorced because of campus girls, though he tells me that he wasn't 'bad' until his pm started growing horns and would go out pinting with her friends at will and never at home for him, but i would not be the person to fault any party in that, but i guess there's nothing that isn't communicable!! Although he's one guy that can rival Wanjohi for his climbing prowess(read interms of numbers), he seemed so disturbed, has cut weight (maybe already suffering from a disease), tells me he hasn't seen his kids in an year only pays fees via an account, he couldn't even drink beer in peace despite him flossing of how he got this, i dont know a harrier, a sports and many girlfriends that were all nowhere in the vicinity.

He left amidst claims it had been a long day and was not quite prepared to rave (the guru talking, moreso on a friday) despite him coming all the way for my 2 beers offer, promised to come the following day with like 3 mamas as he calls them and alot of cash ( a thing i never witnessed). In my microscopic God given intellectual psycho reading i could tell he was a disturbed man, only how i wish despite me being almost his 8year junior i can offer a listening ear (that will not necessarily be written here) and an advisory/ 'feel you' piece of mind. And so i may lack the material wealth for now but am ever grateful for the other privileges i have got including pm and ofcourse the ever present jovial baby girl in my life.